SiriKenobi-ShenaTokala's Fanfiction

I've written several Star Wars fanfictions and I'd like to post them on here.
I'll start posting tomorrow.
SiriKenobi-ShenaTokala

Can't wait, Siri!

Thanks, I'll post my first here in a second.

Here's the first fanfiction I ever wrote (I wrote it last year). Hope you enjoy it .

The Dark Side

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars. The story, the characters and the events all belong to George Lucas.

This is the end of Revenge of the Sith through Obi-Wan's eyes.
(Qui-Gon "Promise me you'll train the boy."

Obi-Wan "Yes Master.")

(Anakin "Good Bye Master and may the Force be with you.")

Though the morning air was warm, Obi-Wan's insides were ice cold.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master, legendary warrior and negotiator quietly made his way down a boulevard on the Senatorial sector on Coruscant, the cold breeze blowing through his cloak.

Obi-Wan lifted his face to the hazy blue sky, ships crisscrossed overhead, flitting through the sky lanes like a thousand swarming insects. The ships overhead made him think of his apprentice Anakin, who had loved piloting. Obi-Wan quickly looked away.

'Don't let your emotions overpower you. Don't let them become your master,' a voice spoke in his mind, trying to cut through his anguished thoughts.

Obi-Wan shook his head, not ready to push aside his grief. 'Not yet,' he told himself firmly as he approached his destination. The building was a glowing silver, shinning against the light blue sky like a beacon bringing him home. Except he wasn't going home. His home was gone, a burned, broken shell filled with the dead.

Obi-Wan lowered his cowl, revealing a sad, lined face framed with reddish-brown hair. Even though he was quite young, in his late thirties, his appearance gave the suggestion of someone who had gone through much grief in a short amount of time. Blue-gray eyes glowed out from his bearded face, eyes that looked ancient and deeply sad, as if grief had overflowed into them. With a slight movement of his fingers the door in front of him swung open. Obi-Wan ducked in, wrapping his dark brown cloak over his cream colored tunic, trying to warm the iciness that prickled his blood.
As he made his way down the hall one thought pounded in his temples, the same thought that had filled him since he'd learned the awful truth. 'Anakin, how could you?' Slants of yellow, yellow as a Sith's eye, crisscrossed the floor, creating geometrical designs. He took another step.

'Anakin, how could you?' The image, the one that had been haunting him for hours again flashed through his brain. He watched as his apprentice, the man he'd loved as a son, as a brother, slash and kill. His lightsaber cutting, not into the metallic skeleton of a battle droid, but Jedi. Jedi Obi-Wan had worked and fought alongside. Ones that had been his friends, his companions since he could remember, 'Anakin, how could you? How could you kill younglings?'

Obi-Wan's step was heavy as he reached yet another door. Obi-Wan stretched his arm forward, his fingers brushing the cold durasteel, shockingly ordinary compared to his whirlwind of thoughts. He closed his eyes, flaying his fingers and giving a slow wave with the Force. An alarm clanged but was shut off almost at once. Inside, Obi-Wan spied a golden Protocol Droid called C3PO hurrying towards him.

"Oh, Master Kenobi, what are you doing here?" C3PO asked, his mechanical voice filled with worry.

"I need to speak to Padme," Obi-Wan replied heavily, folding his arms over his chest. The room, he realized, held Anakin's presence, just as sharp as if he'd just walked out the door.

'Anakin's been here,' Obi-Wan thought as another presence came to his attention. He turned to see a young women in her early twenties running down the stairs towards him. It was Padme, the Senator of Naboo.

Her wavy brown hair hung around her shoulders, whipping around her startled white face.

"Master Kenobi!" she exclaimed sprinting down the last few steps. As soon as she was down she flung herself at Obi-Wan, hugging him tightly. Obi-Wan stiffened at this gesture, would she have hugged him if she'd known what he was going to tell her? Padme drew back, her worried brown eyes searched his face.

"The Republic has fallen, Padme," he said, trying to find the right words

"The Jedi Order is no more." How strange these words seemed, so abstract and unbelievable yet true all the same.

"I know," Padme said, her young face clouded with worry, her voice filled with grief.

"Its hard to believe." 'Of course its hard to believe!' Obi-Wan thought, wishing he could shout the words, unleash his inner turmoil, ease his pounding brain and aching heart. 'Anakin, how could you?'

"But the Senate is still intact," Padme continued

"There is some hope." 'She still thinks that?' Obi-Wan thought sadly.

He shook his head.

"No, Padme, it's over. The Sith now rule the galaxy, as they did before the Republic." The words, he knew, would sound strange to her. They sounded strange to himself, like a nightmare he had had when he was still a youngling. When he believed nothing could hurt him. When everything was clear. He looked into Padme's face and saw that she was staring at him, her eyes wide.

"The Sith?" she exclaimed, her voice laced with disbelief and shock.

'Better start getting to the point,' Obi-Wan told himself as they stepped from the foyer and into the sitting room.

"I'm looking for Anakin," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke his apprentice's name. 'Don't cry,' his brain screamed.

"When was the last time you saw him?" A suspicious look crossed Padme's face as she turned from him. She stood silent for a moment, her brow pinched, her hands clasped tightly before her.

"Yesterday," she replied finally, her head bowed. Obi-Wan felt worry and another strange feeling radiate from Padme. One he knew well. One he'd experienced.

"Do you know where he is now?" he asked gently. She looked up at him, her face ghostly with fear. She looked like she was struggling between telling him the truth or lying. She dropped her gaze.

"No," she mumbled, sitting heavily on the couch. She was lying to him, he knew, it showed in her movements and on her face.

"Padme, I need your help," Obi-Wan pleaded, sitting next her.

"He's in grave danger" 'That much is true,' Obi-Wan thought but it still didn't cover what he had to do. What he must do.

Padme met his gaze, her face stricken.

"From the Sith?" she exclaimed, her fingers curling around the folds in her dark-hued robe. Obi-Wan shook his head, sadness engulfing him, like a cruel ocean, threatening to consume him.

"From himself," he answered slowly, not wanting to break the terrible truth to her, knowing how much it would hurt her to know. 'Its time to face the music. She must know...Its the only way.' Obi-Wan braced himself for whatever Padme would say to him. Whether she would shout at him, cry or remain silent he didn't know. He reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder.

"Anakin has turned to the dark side." The words exploded in the room, making the truth suddenly real, suddenly raw. Obi-Wan saw Padme's face flush red, her eyes wide with shock.

"You're wrong! How can you even say that!" she shouted, her voice desperate, her eyes pleading with him to deny it. Obi-Wan cringed in pain.

"I saw it, on a security hologram in the Temple. It showed him-"

Obi-Wan voice broke, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Killing younglings." He felt Padme's sharp denial through the Force, it flowed over him, sharp and raw as the sword he had fought Prince Beju with so many years ago.

"Not Anakin!" Padme cried in protest, her hands shaking.

"He couldn't," she continued in a whisper. Obi-Wan couldn't tell if she was speaking to him or reassuring herself.

"He was deceived by a lie," Obi-Wan began hoping to soften the blow, which he knew was impossible. Nothing could soften this blow.

"We all were! It appears that the Chancellor has been behind everything, including the war. Palpatine is the Sith Lord we'd been looking for. After the death of Count Dooku Anakin became his new apprentice"

Obi-Wan drew in air, his throat burning from the un-shed tears he held back.

"I don't believe you!" Padme cried, her voice filled with tears. She leaned back into the seat, her eyes downcast.

"I can't," she whispered quietly.

"I must find him," he went on, wishing he didn't have to tell her this.

'I should have fought the Emperor. Yoda was wrong. I am strong enough to defeat the emperor. But I won't kill Anakin. I can't'

She looked at him, her eyes blazing with realization, horror, and disgust.

"You're going to kill him aren't you?" she whispered accusingly.

He lowered his head in shame. She knew. She'd guessed.

"He's become a very great threat," he said finally, hoping they were the right words. He was used to knowing the right words to speak. Being a negotiator during the Clone Wars had embellished this trait. Now he was at a loss.

Padme sank into her couch in despair, her eyes welled up with tears. Her hands, which had been clinging frantically to her outer robe fell away.

Her outer robe lay loosely across her lower torso and, Obi-Wan saw, that her stomach was swollen. And suddenly he felt two extremely Force presences and they were inside Padme.

Her already pale face blanched as she quickly tried to hide her stomach.

"I can't" she repeated, shaking her head vehemently. Suddenly everything fell into place. Anakin's moodiness, his nightmares he refused to speak of. Anakin was worried about Padme. About their children. Obi-Wan stood and took a couple of shaky steps back. He met Padme's gaze.

"Anakin is the father, isn't he?" he asked softly. When she didn't reply he took a step back.

"I'm so sorry" he said, turning from the stricken women. He pulled his hood back over his head, shadowing his ashen face, as he left. His speeder, as he had programed it, had landed on Padme's balcony. He climbed in, his whole body shaking from the confrontation with Padme. He knew she would leave, she would follow Anakin because she would have to know. He would follow her. 'I will do my duty.' Empty words, empty of emotion, of meaning.

Around an hour later Obi-Wan saw Padme and C3PO emerge from her apartment. She was dressed in a plain, gray jumpsuit, her long hair braided into a long plait down her back. Her security officer, Captain Typho emerged next to her. They spoke in hushed, angry whispers as they walked briskily towards one of the many landing platforms on Coruscant. Obi-Wan followed at a distance, his heart heavy. Several times he stopped, his legs refusing to take another step. 'I can't do it. I just can't do it!' Obi-Wan cried desperately to himself as he tailed the two of them. As soon as they reached the landing platform Obi-Wan made a bee-line towards Padme's Naboo Cruiser. Slipping behind a stack of crates he heard the voices of Padme and Typho flow over towards him.

"My Lady, let me come with you," Typho begged as they reached the Padme's ship.

"There is no danger," Padme told him

"The fighting is over and...this is personal."

Typho's dark brow pinched in uncertainty. He bowed slightly.

"As you wish, my lady. But I strongly disagree."

"I'll be all right Captain, this is something I must do myself."

Typho looked like he would disobey her orders then, with a curt nod, he turned and climbed into a speeder. Padme gazed sadly after Typho then, turned and walked up the ramp, followed by C3PO. Obi-Wan waited a couple of moments then, before the hatch shut, climbed aboard. He felt the floor beneath him shudder as the cruiser took off. Closing his eyes he made his way down the passage until he found a place to hide- an empty storage unit. He bent forward as he entered the small, cramped space. As soon as he was situated he closed the door with the Force. Alone with his thoughts, away from thinking and planning, was not what he wanted. He shut his eyes, trying to push away the look he had seen in Anakin's eyes, the rage-filled murderous gleam that had shone from his once blue gaze.

"There is no emotion, there is peace," Obi-Wan whispered to himself, trying to console himself.

Grief washed over him. His skin warmed under his Jedi Cloak as an unbidden thought crossed his mind, slithering and hissing like a serpent. 'Peace is a lie!' he thought savagely.

Then he covered his face with his hands. How could he think that?

'Stop! You're going down a dangerous path. A path that leads to the dark side. Don't turn.' He told himself. 'But it is a lie!' Another part of his mind argued.

'No!' Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open. He breathed in and out, trying to calm his pounding heart. 'How can I kill Anakin?' he thought for perhaps the hundredth time. He still had no answer. Just like he had no solace to the face that Anakin had betrayed him. 'Anakin, how could you!' Obi-Wan wished he had the same reassurance as Padme that is was a lie. He wished it was a lie.

"Help me, Qui-Gon!" he whispered, feeling lost in the cramped storage hold, on his way to kill his apprentice, who he still loved even thought Anakin had torn his heart to shreds. 'How could Anakin have become a Sith? He's not a bad person. He's a good person.' Obi-Wan clamped his eyes shut, his thoughts sounding childish even to himself.

He had lost everyone. He had lost Qui-Gon Jinn, his Master, his Mentor, the only father he'd ever known. He had lost Siri Tachi- His friend, his fellow Jedi and the his only love. All of his friends in the Order were gone- Bant, Garen, Reeft, Mace, Ki-Adi Mundi, Stass Allie, Aayla Secura, everyone except for Yoda.

And now Anakin, his brother, his son, his best friend, had betrayed him. Turned on him in an instant.

Obi-Wan shivered in in the cargo hold, his face wet, his broken heart burning. He reached into the pouch he wore on his utility belt. his fingers meeting crystal.

He pulled out a dark blue stone with a pulsing red center that glowed with an inner heat. It was Siri's warming crystal, her last gift to him. He pressed it to his forehead feeling the warm stone against his feverish skin.

'Help me!' he begged. He waited but no reply came. He reached for the Force, hoping for its warm, light-filled embrace, but was met by a jagged, dark mass of Bogan, the darkside.

There was nothing for him, he realized. What was living for anyway? He covered his face with his hands again.

He was alone. He was forever to be haunted by his failure. By what he had done and what he had left undone. He was alone.

Later, on a bank of a lava river he watched as his former Padawan died, evolving into the monster known as Darth Vader, the goodness that might have still been in him vanishing with the fires that scoured his body. Obi-Wan picked up a discarded lightsaber that lay nearby, feeling the hilt, still warm from Anakin's palms against his own. Darth Vader screamed at him, screaming his eternal hate as Obi-Wan walked up the bank and towards the ship, tears coursing down his filthy cheeks.

All hope was gone from his heart. Even though Anakin's children still lived inside Padme he didn't know if they could fix this mess.

This mess he was in.

He was alone. Alone. Alone.

In a dark galaxy strangled by evil.

Alone

Woah, this is great Siri!! I love how you described Obi-wan's feelings, how he lost Anakin. It was really good.

Winter Celchu27 wrote:

Woah, this is great Siri!! I love how you described Obi-wan's feelings, how he lost Anakin. It was really good.

Thank you very much, Winter . Glad you enjoyed it

Here is a short fan fiction taking place sometime after the book "Jedi Apprentice: The Call to Vengeance" by Jude Watson. References about Tahl's death are from the Jedi Apprentice series and the whole Obi-Wan bringing his Master tea is from "Secrets of the Jedi" by Jude Watson. I wrote this earlier this year.

Hurt

I wake to the sound my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, getting out of his bed, the one across from mine, and leaving the room, his restless feet scuffing along the floor in the hall as he begins his nightly rounds.

I sit up, running a hand through my short reddish-brown hair as I push the blankets off me. I slide out of my bed, my bare feet meeting cold metal. My Master must have been having another nightmare. About her.

Pain pinches my chest and I feel a prickle of tears in my eyes as I remember Master Tahl, my Master's best friend...and mine too. I remember how she looked when we found her- how weak and limp her body was, how dim her green and yellow eyes were, and how she said that it was too late for her.

I take a deep breath, once again trying, and failing, to release my grief.

Then I listen for the sound of Qui-Gon, but his footsteps have died away and the hall outside the room Qui-Gon and I share is silent.

'He probably wandered away from here. To discourage me.'

I walk to the door and open it, slipping out into the chilly hallway, the melancholy sapphire night-lights glowing on both walls, flanking me like guardian angels. 'It seems so sad out here, out here in the blue and the night. And the light is the same color as the pillar of light they put out for her on New Apsolon...'

My throat burns and once again I feel tears in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away and walk as quickly as I can to the kitchens.

When I enter, all I can see in the shadows are the deactivated droids in their stationary place by the row of ovens and a bag of sapir tea, a teapot, and a tray with two tea cups. I smile. The cook had saw me when I'd first come hear and she always set out these for me. She knew who I made the tea for and why. I begin heating up the water in the pot, my hands flowing through the motions with a practiced ease. And I think back and remember what happened to them.

Qui-Gon had been having nightmares- vision really- about Tahl. He didn't exactly tell me what was going on, but I found out. It wasn't that hard. I could sense tension rolling off him in waves, I could feel his body stiffen when he argued with her about going to New Apsolon alone, with her being blind and all, that he didn't think it was safe. And of course that didn't go well. And we followed her, we followed her even though the Council told us not to. And I went anyway, because I had to...because he needed me. I knew he would need me, somehow, in my subconscious, I knew. We found her, undercover, but okay, and at a pause in our 'mission' something happened between the two of them. I'm not exactly sure but I felt a happiness radiating off him, all most like he'd been given the secret of immortality or had found balance in the Force within himself. And Tahl had seemed joyful as well- the both of them like they were walking on the clouds, the sun shinning on them. Then, we were betrayed and Tahl was captured by Bog, who we thought was our ally. And Qui-Gon nearly lost it. He was on edge, like something in him was on the verge of shattering, just like the table he cracked when he found out what had happened. And we chased her and her captor relentlessly, spending days and days on a speeder bike , Qui-Gon changing and hardening as we went his agitation and despair clouding him until it was like he was a stranger, not the man who had raised me since I was thirteen. We found her but she was so weak she couldn't even walk and Qui-Gon had to carry her, and swim with her, to safety. We had rushed her to the hospital.

I swallow as I begin to stir the sapir tea into the steaming water, my chest constricting as I remember the end; how Qui-Gon had been called into the room by pale-faced and despairing doctors, how I had sat in the waiting room, my head clutched between my hands as I begged and prayed for her to be alright. Then, while I sat shaking and weeping I felt something vanish in a flash, like a huge sun being sucked into a black-hole and I knew-I knew- she had died. My heart had stopped then, my cold hands frozen to my tear-streaked face. Then I heard it, the scream, the scream of agony and grief so deep and so raw that it ripped my heart out. That was when I realized who it was. It was my Master, it was Qui-Gon, who was screaming. My Master, the pillar of calm that had kept me grounded in my years as his apprentice, was screaming, his voice expressing a grief that knew no bounds, a grief I had never experienced. I'd rushed and found him, bent over her, wailing, his hands clutching hers, his forehead against hers. A small smile remained on her frail, pallid face, like she'd just been told the most wonderful news in the galaxy. I looked back at my Master and saw the violent rigidness of his shoulders and heard the sobs that were coming from him. 'Qui-Gon...' I slowly went to him, my heart breaking with every step I took. Then he turned to me and for a moment I thought I saw a corpse. His eyes were hollow and dark with grief, his face drawn. He had lost something, something so immense I didn't understand it.

It was then I knew he had been changed forever, and that I even though I grieved, it would never match his. I had stared at him not sure what to do, not sure if I could even do anything. I had never learned what to do in this situation, never. I took a deep breath and drew close to the bed where Tahl lay, happy and at peace. I had placed my hand on his shoulder and told him "Let me help you, Master."

And he said there was nothing left for him but revenge. Revenge: a path to the darkside, an act forbidden to the Jedi. The Qui-Gon I once known would never had done it. But this new Qui-Gon would. But he hadn't, Tahl's voice had come to him in time, but I knew that Qui-Gon wasn't over her death. He'd never accepted it.

I take another breath as I finish with the tea, placing the pot and empty cups on the tray, my hands shaking from the memories, of the events that never leave me. Will never leave I lift the tray and start down the passage, stretching my senses out for my Master, searching for him, knowing that, even though he denied it, he needed me. I quicken my pace, my footsteps sounding loud in the silent hallway. Then I sense him, feel his grief rolling off him in waves as I approach a bend in the corridor. I pause, not wanting to intrude, encase he was weeping. After a moment I square my shoulders and walk around the corner and see my Master, his strong back hunched, his face lowered, his hands clasped before him. Then, without turning, without even looking in my direction he says, with a hint of amusement in his voice,

"I think I can live one night without you bringing me tea, my young Padawan."

I close my eyes a moment, preparing myself for the question that I've been working up the courage to ask.

"Its not the tea Master, its the thought. I want to do this for you. You need to know-you need to know that I care." Qui-Gon turns to me and smiles sadly, but the smile doesn't reach his piercing blue eyes. And my heart breaks all over again. I fervently want to see him smile again, like he had when he and Tahl had spoken and something had happened. I walk over to him and touch him arm.

"Master please...let me help you." Qui-Gon sighs and sits on the floor, his back pressed to the wall, the sapphire lights above throwing his face into bright relief and I see how old he suddenly looks.

A shiver undulates up my spine as I sit down beside him, placing the tray before us. I pour him a cup of sapir tea- which is his favorite- and hand it to him. He wraps his large hands around it and nods his thanks to me and I fill mine up as well, steeling myself for the question I have to ask.

"Obi-Wan...I thank you for your concern for me. I-" he cuts off but I know what he means.

'He doesn't want to be out here alone with his grief.' We sit side my side, my shoulder leaning into his strong muscular arm as we watch the lights dance on the wall in-front of us.

Then I ask-

"Master, did you-do you love Tahl?" The question cracks in the quiet and I feel a shift in my Master, as if the layers and walls he'd built up inside of him were peeling and rippling and opening like a flower. The breath catches in my throat as I feel that seed within the mystery that is Qui-Gon Jinn, that seed of truth. I look at his face and I can see, in the lights from above, tears streaming from his eyes. Suddenly I couldn't handle it. I had to help him. I couldn't see him cry like this, I had to help him.

I reach up and place the palm of my hand on his arm and wait.

"Yes I did, Padawan. I do and I always will." his voice is tight and rough and...ashamed.

Then he puts a hand to his face.

"But...even though its against the rules...I know what I feel...and I don't regret it."

"Love isn't wrong," I tell him softly. He looks at me, his eyes so deeply sad I thought I was looking into a dark abyss in some horror legend of old.

"Attachment is wrong, passion is wrong, but love isn't." I pause then whisper,

"I loved her too. She was like a mother to me. My mother. Just like you are my father."

I feel something inside of him break then and suddenly he had pulled me to him, his arms tight around me.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. Thank you." And I knew, that even if I hadn't ended my Master's grief, and even though I could never take away his pain, I knew that he knew I was always there for him. That, no matter how many mistakes he or I made, we would always love each other. Forever.

And that contented me more than anything.

I love your writing! Great job!

Starwarsartist wrote:

I love your writing! Great job!

Thank you very much

Here is a fanfiction about Anakin/Vader during the end of Return of the Jedi.
This was my first foray into Anakin's perspective and I hope you enjoy it.

My Choice: A Star Wars Fanfiction

'I am empty and the darkness if my friend.' A phrase repeated so many times that it has become true.

I look over at Luke as the door to the elevator opens. His face is calm; passive even, and his stands firm, like those foolish Jedi.

'I feel the conflict within you, let go of your hate!' The words Luke had spoken to me echo in my mind, entering the emptiness like a cry for help; like a child's cry for help. Something stirs in me, an emotion so long unfelt at first I cannot identify it. Then it hits me; pity. I close my eyes, the burned, chaffed lids sliding painfully over my weak, damaged eyes.

'Emptiness, darkness, That's all I need. That's all I am.'

We stride out, side-by-side and approach the throne of my Master, The Emperor, Darth Sidious.

For a moment a memory assails me, so faint and indistinct I can hardly say it was mine. Obi-Wan and I, approaching Palpatine in a similar chair; only then he was manacled to it. A part of a plan of his own design.

Now he sits in his throne in all of his decrepit glory. His dream realized.

We come to a stop. I reach out to Luke, trying to sense what he's feeling but they're so gnarled, twisted, and hard, that I can't decipher them. My Master turns slowly around, his sick, wrinkled face partially hidden by a hood. I hated that face, but I also loved it. He was all I had left in the galaxy and that had to amount to something.

"Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you." he says in his thin, raspy voice, his yellow eyes boring into Luke with interest. Something twists in my stomach; fear. I bit the ruined flesh of my lips, forcing the fear out of the hollow caverns inside me. Sidious would not betray me...right? I breathed in. Of course not. he would betray me. The Sith didn't work that way; they didn't show mercy. We were alone in the galaxy. Which is how it should be. If you cared for no one, then you could never be hurt. Never.

"You no longer need those," Palpatine says after a brief pause, referring to the manacles around Luke's wrists. They open and fall off, clattering to the floor.

'Just like I did on the invisible hand.' I think then, with a rush of fury.

'No that wasn't you, that was Anakin. That was back when you were weak and you loved. Now you are strong. Anakin is gone, you , Darth Vader, killed him long ago.'

"Guards, leave us," Palpatine says, his acidic gaze leaving Luke for a moment and turning to the scarlet-robed Imperial Guards. I listen as they leave, their feet nearly silent on the floor. Then he looks back at Luke and a sinking suspicion enters the void, trickling like the sand I've always hated so much.

"I am looking forward to completing your training." Anger pulses. 'So Sidious, you are going to betray me? Well, I won't have it. I'll always be your apprentice; till the day you die. You're stuck with me.'

"In time you will call me...Master," Palpatine, or Sidious's, voice is quiet; his presence commanding like it had been for me, back when I was called Anakin Skywalker and had been a fool, thinking I was doing good. I had fought for a republic rotten to its core.

'Master.' That words makes me remember things I hadn't thought of in years.

'-Master, I'm scared.- -Its okay, Anakin, I'm here. I will always be here-' My Master, my old one. His voice floats into my head, like a feather in the wind. I remember his hands on my shoulder, his smile, his embrace into which I sometimes sobbed my heart out. And I remember him walking away. Something erupts inside my chest, rage bubbling up like the lava fields of Mustafar. Some Master, he left me to burn.

"You're gravely mistaken," I hear Luke answer softly. I look at him. He stands calmly, hands before him, face emotionless, just like Obi-Wan did before every enemy I ever saw him face.

'Except for you,' A voice inside me whispers. I stamp the voice into the ground.

"You won't convert me as you did my father," he continues, his voice still that chilly, steel-ringing calm.

'Converted? I wasn't converted, I chose this! It was MY choice.'

"Oh no," Palpatine says in that deathly calm taunt I've come to recognize over the years, as he stands.

"my young Jedi." He walks towards Luke slowly, like a phantom rising from the nether-gloom in some horror legend.

"You will find that is is you who are mistaken. About a great many things." His voice is chilling and I understand what he wants. He wants us to fight; to see who comes out on top. He leers over Luke, a sick smile on his disgusting face.

"His lightsaber," I say, handing it to Palpatine. At least if he had it, it would give me a chance because Luke would have to take it.

"Yes. A Jedi's weapon. Much like your father's."

'Like mine. Like my old one. No! No- ANAKIN'S old one. I am Anakin no longer.'

"By you must know your father can never be turned from the darkside. So will it be with you."

'No, I'll never leave the darkside. Its given me strength and protection from the love and pain in the world.'

"You're wrong." The words Luke says surprise me.

'Someone thinks I can turn from the dark?'

This hasn't happened since Mustafar with Padme who pleaded, Padme who I force-choked.

'She was an unfaithful wench and you know it!' I tell myself, hardening my resolve, pushing the dust of doubt from my emptiness.

"Soon I'll be dead and you with me." Brave words, I'll admit, but also foolish. Did Luke really think he stood a chance against Palpatine? No one did. Not even me. He knew all, saw all, did all. Nothing could escape his notice. He could kill the both of us without lifting a finger.

Palpatine laughs then, a dry, low cackle.

"Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your rebel fleet." I feel something from Luke now; doubt, anxiety...fear.

"Yes," Palpatine continues, his words as slick as oil,

"I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here." His face crumples in disgust as he speaks the last words and he turns and walks slowly away.

"You're overconfidence is your weakness," Luke says, sounding like a Jedi...like Obi-Wan. Palpatine spins around, Luke's lightsaber held lightly between his pallid, decrepit hands.

"Your faith in your friends is yours." Luke really is a fool. He is not a Jedi yet and even a full trained Jedi couldn't take Palpatine. Yoda even couldn't.

"It is pointless to resist, my son," I say, knowing it is. Palpatine always gets his way, one way or another. But something inside me speaks, in the small, scared voice of a boy.

'Maybe,' I think 'Maybe we can both take him.'

But

'No! No, Palpatine will not have it. I must stay his apprentice because, what will I do without him?' He has become to me like blood and oxygen; I need him to survive.

Palpatine takes his seat, looking directly at Luke again and whatever remained inside my scorched, empty chest crumples. I know who he prefers.

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on the sanctuary moon are walking into a trap, as is your rebel fleet."

I sense panic seize Luke's heart, feel him tremble slightly at my side.

"It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them."

Then his voice changes into that frail, mocking tone he uses to belittle you, to insult you into rage. He has done it to me many times...more than I can count.

"Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."

Grief stabs Luke then, a tsunami of emotion that crashes down around him, splashing me with its sheer rawness.

"Come boy, see for yourself," I see him turn to the window and watch as a battle ensues. I feel his anger mounting, growing larger and larger as his fear begins to corrode his mind, corrupting it, leaving room for the darkside to take root. I walk over to join my Master, standing by his side like I have for years. Just the two of us.

'Without me, you're nothing.' He had said this to me many times and I believed it. What was I without him? A cyborg, like General Grievous? A husk, an empty void?

"From here you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance and the end of your insignificant rebellion." Luke turns to him in horror and I see he understands what Palpatine has done. Then he looks down at his lightsaber, lying still beneath his old, withered hand.

'Should I give it to him? He is my son, after all.'

The emptiness is filling me now, so fast I can't force it away; and its pain, red-hot and stinging. But where the pain is coming from I cannot yet tell. I force a dam between me and it, trying to staunch it. I can't let weakness in. Not now.

"You want this, don't you?" Palpatine asks, patting Luke's lighsaber softly.

"The hate is swelling in you. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger!" Luke turns away sharply and I am besieged by yet another memory. Of me-no, Anakin- finding out Palpatine was the Sith Lord and him telling me in that tone of voice about my anger and hate and how I should use it. And I remember when he told me to kill Dooku.

'No, not you, Anakin. You are not Anakin. Anakin is gone.'

"With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant."

'Servant. So that's all I've ever been to you. A pawn in your plans. I've always known. But I'm nothing without you, right?'

I see the struggle in Luke, see his shoulders shudder, see him draw in a ragged breath.

He turns.

"No."

'You can't resist, Luke. He will get you in the end. He always does. Its no use.'

"It is unavoidable. It is your destiny."

'As it was mine? Or is it yours, Master?'

"You, like your father, are now...mine."

A sickening rush enters me along with the pain, breaking through my wall, a deep poison of rage, deeper and darker then anything I've felt since Mustafar.

"As you can see, my young apprentice your friends have failed." Luke turns to look at him once more. And another feeling corrodes into me.

'Young apprentice?'

I was once his young apprentice.

"Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!" He turns to the arm rest on his throne and speaks into his comlink.

"Fire at will, commander!" We continue to watch the battle and see as the Death Star shoots a blast into the fleet. I feel a deep shudder run through Luke, a strong, unsteady tremor coming to me through the Force.

"Your fleet is lost. And your friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Alliance will die. As will your friends."

Luke is resisting, his chest and shoulders jerking as he turns away for a moment, his gaze raking the scene before him in desperation. Then he looks back and his eyes rest on the lightsaber once more.

'Take it.' The words come unbidden to my mind and I realize something...something is shaking in my brain, something long dormant and the scorched remains of my heart crackle with dread.

"Good," Palatine whispers, his eyes closing wistfully.

"I can feel your anger." Then his tone changes, to that seductive tremor of voice that had captivated me to the darkside.

"I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the darkside will be complete." Luke turns jerkily to the window, his emotions reeling; confusion, rage, and fear become a tornado of feeling inside of him, ripping into a tempest, spreading through the room like a real storm. For a moment I think he won't do it, then he swings around, calls the lightsaber to his hand, and ignites the vivid green blade.

Out of instinct born from my transformation into Darth Vader, for protecting the man I had stood beside, who I had killed Jedi for, who I had killed Mace Windu for; I blocked the blow with my own blade. And Palpatine began to laugh. He had planned this from the start.

And so, our duel began.

'Father against son,"

Then as I look at Luke an image of...her appears to me.

'Padme...' My beautiful Padme. He was so much like her in some ways. Sometimes...I missed her- missed her so much the charred bits in my chest lightly stung. And the dormant...thing inside me would stir in its slumber.

Then, I feel his foot connect with my body and I tumble back down the stairs.

'How was he able to do that?'

I look up at him, standing tall and victorious, like a conqueror and suddenly I hear Anakin's voice speak in my mind, screaming from the bars of his prison in which I had locked him away.

'No my son, don't!'

"Good," I hear Palpatine say, and a flash, my battle with Dooku filled my mind. Of me taking Dooku's place at Palpatine's side.

"Use your aggressive feelings boy. Let the hate flow through you." I stand, feeling shaken, the rattle of Anakin against his prison echoing in my head.

'No, my son, no! Don't do as I did!'

'Get back, weakling!' Darth Vader, me, hisses, as Palpatine begins to laugh. Luke deactivates his lightsaber suddenly as I walk towards him. Anakin still screams at me but since I am stronger, I am able to place a gloved hand against his mouth.

"Obi-Wan has taught you well."

Suddenly, I see tears in Luke's eyes.

"I will not fight you, father," his says, an edge in his voice.

'Father.' The word resounds in my mind, creating a solid mass in the cavern that is my chest.

I feel Anakin's fingers creeping from their prison, pushing through the bars as if they were jelly.

'My son, oh my son.'

Then a shudder runs through me, anger smashing into me like a tidal wave.

'Get back you foolish, weak, pathetic, child!'

I will kill Anakin by killing his son. Luke has awoken Anakin and he shall pay for bringing my pain back. I walk up the stairs towards him until I have come to face him. He stares at me, his face intense with emotion.

"You are unwise to lower your defense!" I roar, striking out with all my fury at him. He ignites his lightsaber and blocks the blows. Suddenly he leaps onto a ramp overhead, reminding me of Obi-Wan standing above me on the lava bank just before I foolishly jumped at him.

'Luke!' Anakin screams, his voice sobbing, his hands grappling with me, Vader, his fingers crushing me and I hesitate.

'I can't kill my own son!' Anakin shouts in desperation, his fists flailing against the bars that hold his soul forever entrapped.

"Your thoughts betray you father, I feel the good in you. The conflict."

Fury rages in me now, slamming Anakin into the back of his cell, Vader rising up, rage pouring.

"There is no conflict," I say in disgust.

'I have to kill him. I have to kill him so Anakin can't come back.'

"You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before and I don't believe you will destroy me now."

'I won't Luke, I won't!' Anakin whispers, his voice a razor against my mind.

"You underestimate the power of the darkside," I tell him just as another similar sentence echoes in my mind.

'You underestimate my power!'

"If you will not fight then you will meet your destiny!" And I do what I should have done on Mustafar. I throw my lightsaber at him. He dodges but my spinning blade cuts into the supports and half the ramp collapses. Luke tumbles away and out of sight and I go looking for him, a feeling of victory beginning its growth in me. Then I hear Palpatine murmuring.

"Good, good.." I ignite my lightsaber, searching for Luke who I know is hiding down there.

I want to find him but I want a confrontation, a real one, no more of this piddling around, telling me he doesn't want to fight. Anakin must stay locked away or better yet, killed so that Darth Vader can flourish without a conscience. I walk quietly under the rest of the ramps, searching the shadows with my burning, lava-red blade.

"You cannot hide forever, Luke," I say, casting my gaze around for him.

'Come out and fight me! So I can end you and Anakin once and for all.'

"I will not fight you!" his tone is low but with an edge, a defiance; just like the pitiful Jedi refusing to let the darkness into themselves.

"Give yourself to the darkside," I say, then a thought strikes me. I shall do what Palpatine did to me; I will manipulate him. I can feel with a shudder Anakin's fists railing against his prison, the clattering growing louder, the bars around him growing weaker.

"It is the only way you can save your friends." Which was true, the darkside did save everyone. It would have saved Padme is only she had followed me, if only she hadn't betrayed my love for another, for someone else. For Obi-Wan. Worry explodes from Luke, shuddering and shaking like a person dying out in the cold. I can even see faces, names; I know who they are and I know how much they mean to him. They are his everything.

'Like mom, like Obi-Wan, like Padme, like Ahsoka...'

I hear Anakin whisper into my mind, his arms reaching out as he begins to push himself out.

I had to hurry and kill the both of them or Anakin would return and I would be once again strangled by grief.

"Yes...your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong, especially for..."

An image, burning bright as a firework, appears before me. The young Princess who helped steal the plans for the Death Star. Then a startling truth. His sister. My-no, not mine, Anakin's- daughter.

'Padme had more than one child?'

"Sister...So you have a twin sister?" Luke's panic spasms out in controlled bursts and I know I've landed a nerve. Good, I'll break through his resolve soon. Then I realize what must have happened- Obi-Wan must have separated the two, so I, or my Master, wouldn't be able to find them.

"Your feelings have now betrayed her too,"

'I know who she is. I can use her against you...'

'NOO!' Anakin's roar gives him new strength and he continues his desperate attempts at escape.

"Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me.."

'She could turn, if Luke won't. They are both powerful in the Force.'

"Now his failure is complete." I turn to where he is hiding and slowly step towards him, speaking the threat that had just entered my mind.

"If you will not turn to the darkside then perhaps she will."

The words I speak finally break Luke's fragile control over himself. He springs up, lightsaber igniting screaming "Never!" with such fervent rage I know he will turn. Maybe I won't have to kill him after all-

He attacks with such a vicious wildness that I am, for the first time since turning to the darkside..actually afraid. I had felt fear earlier but this was different- this was the terror I had once felt as Anakin.

He drives me back, his lightsaber swinging before him like a club, his rage a growing storm behind him, becoming even larger than my fury. Then I realize where I am- I'm by the shaft that leads to the main reactor.

Anakin is almost free and as I mentally force him back, Luke drives me down, striking with his lightsaber so viciously I know I will loose. I collapse into the railing, exhaustion suddenly filling me, Anakin howling in my mind so loudly I nearly pass out. I hold up my blade in a meek attempt to protect myself from Luke's onslaught. Suddenly his blade cuts through my wrist of the hand holding my lightsaber and I fall to the ground, weaponless.

'So my son, you will betray me, like everyone else?'

I hear Anakin whisper, scrabbling half-in, half-out of the prison.

'No, get back! I can't die as you! I can't die a weakling.'

I stare up at the end of the green blade, swishing before me, Luke's face twisted with rage.

'No my son, don't give up on me..'

Then I hear Palpatine laugh and I know, I know, that he has also betrayed me-again.

"Good!" he says as he approaches us.

"Your hate as made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny, and take your father's place at my side."

Anger, pouring hot and red, pulses into me, joining the jumbled up feelings that had been building inside of me since I brought Luke to my Master. I had always known Sidious would betray me like this, he had already betrayed me more than once, lied to me more than once. But betrayal always seems to take me by surprise.

Luke doesn't answer for a moment, just stares at his clenched had- his now machine hand.

'He'll turn,'

I tell myself, huddled on the ground.

'He'll turn. Palpatine always gets his way. Luke will turn and replace me.'

'All the better,' I hear Anakin say

'Now I don't have to kill him.'

Anakin is almost out now, but it doesn't matter. I'll be dead soon anyways.

But then, Luke deactivates his lightsaber.

'What?'

But I feel Anakin smiling.

Then I realize I'm smiling.

"Never," he whispers, tossing his lightsaber away, refusing just like he'd refused to fight me.

"I'll never turn to the darkside."

Something swells in me then. Is it pride? Pride for the boy- no, the man- who can say no to this seductive liar?

'No,' I tell myself harshly

'He's a fool. The darkside will always win.'

'But the darkside didn't save Padme, did it? It killed her!'

Fire, my had squeezing darkness around her throat-NO!

I would not let doubt get to me. I had chosen my path long ago and I could never turn away.

"You failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."

'Father before me...father before me...Luke...'

Something cracks in me then and I realize what it is; Anakin's prison is crumbling. And I do nothing about it.

Then I look over at Palpatine and feel the fury sizzle around him, sparking like electricity.

What is he going to do now that he hasn't got his way?

"So be it," he says, deathly calm, and a terror so large grasps me that for a moment I am frozen.

"...Jedi." The last word is dripping with disgust. Then he lifts a hand to Luke, fingers slightly bent.

"If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!" Then he lifts the other hand and lighting springs from his fingers, waves and waves of it, slamming him pitilessly into the railing.

Then it stops. I stand. Maybe I can make him spare Luke...

"Young fool...only now, at the end, do you understand."

No, no, Palpatine won't let Luke live. Luke defied him, spit him in the face and now Palpatine will kill him.

Then he sends blast after blast of azure lightning into Luke and walks ever closer.

"Your feeble skills are not no match for the power of the darkside." He walks even closer, shooting more lighting, this time more intense; a steady stream of his harshest, darkest blasts of power.

The prison splinters, metal buckling, splitting apart, Anakin screaming.

'Luke!'

Sidious pauses as he growls out another string of stinging words.

"You have paid the price for your lack of vision."

Luke screams, writhing underneath the bolts of blue, his face twisted in pain.

Then he looks straight up at me and says, desperate, pleading.

"Father! Please!"

And I remember-

-Padme pleading with me to run away, leave it all behind, her begging. But I ruthlessly chocked her, causing her to die.

-Obi-Wan begging me not to jump, begging me so he wouldn't have to hurt me, so he wouldn't have to destroy himself to do what he had to do. But I did anyway.

-The child, asking me what to do, fear inflicting him and the rest of the younglings hiding with him. But I mercilessly killed them all.

Then the prison breaks open and Anakin, sobbing, screaming, leaps out. He grabs Darth Vader by the throat, and Vader grabs Anakin, their hands pushing, both vying for control.

"Now, young Skywalker, you will die."

'die Die dIe diE, DIE.'

Luke was going to die and it would be all my fault!

'I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I promise you! I will learn to even stop people from dying!'

Suddenly I, both Anakin and Vader, were pulled away, into limbo, in the Force.

I was at a crossroads; just like I had been back at the Chancellor's office when I had to choose- choose between the Jedi and the Sith; The light and the dark side- right and wrong.

Anakin and Vader look at me. I have a choice. Who should I choose? Then I hear voices, speaking, one after another

Shmi: I love you my son...We will see each other again.

Obi-Wan: You are my brother, Anakin! I love you!...He is like my brother, I cannot do it!

Padme: I love you, Ani... I'd never hurt you.

Luke: Father! Please!...I know there's still good in you!

Then it hits me, like a fist of stone in my stomach, doubling me over.

And I stand here, gasping, stripped naked, all the fortifications build around me, the hard shell, destroyed. Gone.

How could I have doubted Padme? She loved me, loved me until the end. How could I have thought her unfaithful? She would never have done that. She had cared about me so much she'd been brave and confronted me. She'd died because she loved me so much. I'd killed her.

How could I have betrayed Obi-Wan? He'd always been there for me. He'd been my father as an apprentice- the father I'd never had. He'd been my brother, my best friend, my hand to hold when I'd slipped. He'd stuck up for me and covered for me so many times that I could no longer count. And how could I have thought he was with Padme? He had never looked at Padme, never see her as anything but a friend. That's all he'd been. My friend and hers. I'd killed him too. Not physically, but mentally for having to fight me. To maim me. Now I saw why he let me strike him down on the Death Star. He couldn't bring himself to do it again.

And my son. My son! He hadn't given up on me, even after all I'd done. He still believed in me. And he loved me.

And Palpatine...he'd never been my father. He was the cause of it all- of everything. Then I understand. I see how love works, how it saves.

'You may have ruined Padme's life, and Obi-Wan's life, and my life, but you won't, you WON'T harm my son! This is the final straw! You won't, you WON'T. There is a world without you. I don't need you anymore! I have more then the shadow with me, now. I no longer need you!'

Then Anakin smiles and Vader gives a cry, bursting into flames, his hideousness finally dying, vanishing forever.

And I am Anakin once again.

I'm back, standing beside Palpatine. And I hate him. Because now I see, in the flashes of sapphire light, Mace Windu dying because of me- another victim because of me.

'But not this time. I see the light now, Palpatine. I understand. No matter how strong the dark is, the light will always find a way. Because love can hold back hatred. And I won't let you harm my son!'

And I grab Palpatine, lifting his thin, dead body over my head.

Because he is dead inside; like I was for so long. A mind with a dormant soul.

His lighting cascades around me and I feel it rip into my life-support, tearing it apart, killing it.

And I rise up and destroy him, throwing him into the main reactor of the Death Star.

Finally, I made the right choice. My Choice.

But I am dying.

'It doesn't matter. He's gone, he's gone.'

I sob with relief. And as gas billows up after Palpatine's descent I hear his final screams vanish.

Then I feel Luke pull me from the railing, from the precipice. For a moment I lean into his shoulder and as I look up at him through my mask, I think.

'You saved me, Luke. You saved me from myself.'

And then he's hoisting me up and pulling me to the docking bay and I sense that the battle station will be destroyed.

'I'm slowing him down. With me, he'll never escape.'

Then I slip from his grasp but even though he is exhausted, he continues to drag me to the ramp of a vessel. He pulls me forward, staring at me with his blue eyes so like mine. And sorrow fills me that I will never know him but... I have to save him.

Then I realize I have never seen him, not really. Just through a mask, never with my own eyes.

"Luke, help me take this mask off," I manage to say through my painful, fire-filled breathing.

"But you'll die," he whispers.

I feel the air becoming thinner, my damaged lunges wearing thin, my burned heart tightening.

"Nothing...can stop...that...now. Just for once, let me...look on you with my own eyes."

For a moment he hesitates, then nods, slowly lifting the helmet off first. Then the mask comes off and air, real unfiltered air, hits my damaged face for the first time in over a decade. And I see him fully, now. I see how much he looks like Padme and like me. I can see my stubbornness and Padme's kindness in him. And I feel tears burn in my eyes, falling slowly onto my scarred cheeks. Oh how I wish I could spend more time with him, get to know him.

My breathing is becoming more difficult, like I'm trying to breathe in liquid. I force myself to speak through the fire spreading through my chest.

"Now...Go, my son. Leave me." He shakes his head, denying it like I had so many times in my past.

'Please listen, Luke. Do what I could never do. Listen.'

"No! Your coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you!"

I smile sadly at him.

"You already...have, Luke." The world fills with gray and Luke begins to fade.

"You were right," I whisper and Luke leans closer to catch my words.

"You were right about me." I remember his sister, my daughter. Leia. I'll never know her and I know she will never forget what Vader- no, what I did,- to her home.

And my heart breaks, shattering like glass one stone.

"Tell your sister, you were right." The last words rip into my throat, and as everything fades, I think of my children, of Padme, of Obi-Wan, of Shmi, of Ahsoka; I think of how much I love them...

*****I wake in a dark place, like space, cold and empty. Far away I see a pinprick of light and I begin moving towards it, like I was piloting a podracer towards the suns on Tatooine.

"Anakin."

'Obi-Wan! Master! Father, brother...' Pain grips me so hard I choke on a sob.

"Master? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Anakin listen! You must listen closely. I am going to give you the power to travel from the netherworld of the Force to real-space and I need to tell you before you join the light."

"Master, why-why me?"

"Because you ended the horror, Anakin. Because you fulfilled the prophecy," his voice, soft and kind, just like it had been so long ago.

"And because, because you are my friend." His voice cracks as he says this and I know the secret. I had it all along.

Love.

"Yes." I say and I know Obi-Wan hears me.

I reach the light, now so bright I have to squint, its rays shimmering like the blades of lightsabers. Then in its pure gleam, I see a figure approaching. And its Obi-Wan; young, his body fit, face shinning, lips smiling, eyes full of tears. He reaches a hand out to me, his pale skin glowing with a beautiful luminescence.

"Come home, my son. Come home." And as happiness fills me, I reach out, taking his hand, sobbing, laughing, as he pulls into the light and into his arms.******

*And later, as the whole galaxy celebrates, two figures appear in the gloom. And as Luke turns, he sees a third appear beside Obi-Wan and Yoda; Anakin, his father. He smiles at them and they smile back.

His father, the Jedi was back. He had finally got it right. He had made the right choice.

And as Luke walks away with his sister and friends, the hearts of the three Jedi fill. Because they know that balance has been brought to the Force and peace has been restored in the galaxy. And all is right. At last.*