Yeah, kinda borrowed the title from a book I read when I was little.
Anyway, I started this back in September and finished pretty recently, I thought you girls might enjoy it. Absolutely crazy, I hope it will make you laugh! Try reading it out loud!
Anakin's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day
Anakin Skywalker paced his room, bored out of his mind. It was eight thirty in the morning and he had already run out of things to do. There were no missions to go on and nothing that needed fixing. So far today, he had already left the faucet running in Mace Windu's room, reprogrammed Yoda's housekeeping droid to do exactly the opposite of cleaning, glued Obi-Wan's door shut with Gorilla Glue, painted Kit Fisto's room hot pink, set Ahsoka Tano's toaster on setting number 7(evaporate), and drained the community swimming pool. While Anakin felt rather pleased with himself on how these pranks had worked out, he was now totally bored.
With a groan he flopped onto the couch and turned on the holo-tv. “BUY BIG BOB'S SUPER COOL STICKY GOOEY STUFF!!! ONLY 99,999 REPUBLIC CREDITS!!!” A nasal voice shouted from the tv. Anakin wondered if he could borrow Ki-Adi Mundi's credit card to order some, but decided against it. Suddenly, he had an idea. Prank calls! That would be really fun!
He picked his iPhone up off the table and dialed a random number.
“Hello?” Came the voice from the other end.
“Hello, is Luke Walls there?” Anakin asked.
“No...” came the confused voice.
“Is Lilly Walls there?” Anakin questioned.
“Um, no...” was the reply.
“Are there any Walls in your house?” Anakin asked.
“No.” The person replied, obviously getting annoyed.
“Then how does your house stay up!?!?!?” Anakin asked incredulously, cracking up with laughter and ending the call.
Once he had calmed himself down, he held up his phone and randomly punched in some numbers.
“Hello?” A gruff voice answered.
“Hi, this is Steve Smith and I'm calling to confirm your purchase of a 22-B Nightfalcon speeder bike!” Anakin shouted enthusiastically.
“I ordered no such thing!!!” The man shouted, outraged.
Anakin laughed hysterically and hung up. Then he punched in another random number. This time he didn't give the person on the other end time to answer before he spoke.
“Congratulations, you've won a million credits from the Coruscant Society of Awesomeness!!!” He shouted.
“Ani? What in the world???”
Anakin had not counted on accidentally dialing his wife, Padme's number. Oops.
“Um... Hi Dearest.” He sheepishly said.
“Anakin, were you prank calling random people again?” Padme asked with amusement.
“Maybe... yes.” Anakin answered hesitantly.
“You know that's not very nice.” She said.
“I know.” Anakin sighed. “But I'm bored!!!” He wailed miserably.
All of a sudden, the phone beeped and shut off.
“No, not the battery!” Anakin cried, bursting into tears. Then he got an idea. Obi-Wan had just gotten a new iPhone. The iPhone 4G, to be exact. Anakin grinned at the prospect of prank calling people with the shiny new phone. Drying his tears, Anakin dashed out the door and ran down the hall to Obi-Wan's room.
Two hours, one bottle of faulty glue remover, one crowbar, one chainsaw, and one demolished door later, Anakin sat on the couch in Obi-Wan's room, happily dialing numbers while Obi-Wan stood in the kitchen washing the dishes and baking spinach pineapple bread. Anakin grinned as he put the phone up to his ear. When he heard someone pick the phone up, he quickly composed himself.
“Is your refrigerator running?” He asked solemnly.
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and sighed, watching Anakin making a fool of himself..
“Well, yes.” A gruff voice replied in response to Anakin's question.
“Then go catch it!!!!” Anakin shouted loudly.
“This is the Galactic Senate building! Prank calls are strictly forbidden by the law. This call will be traced!!!”
“Eeeep!!!” Anakin screamed and threw the phone out the window, shattering the glass. He sheepishly looked over at Obi-Wan, who was seething in anger.
“I kinda... dropped it.... accidentally.” Anakin sheepishly admitted. He peered out the window. The phone was still falling. He and Obi-Wan winced as it hit the ground and shattered.
“Anakin...” Obi-Wan trailed off threateningly.
“I'M SO SORRY!!! I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE AND I'LL NEVER DO A PRANK CALL EVER AGAIN!!!!!” Anakin wailed pitifully.
“Alright Anakin.” Obi-Wan sighed. “I was just about to go to the Coruscant mall to get some more Candy Canes, so I can run by the Apple Store and pick up a new phone.”
“Yay!” Anakin grinned, pulling some credits out of his pocket and giving them to Obi-Wan.
“Thank you.” Obi-Wan said, then gave him a slice of spinach pineapple bread and shoved him out the door.
Walking down the hallway and munching on the weird tasting bread, Anakin heard a ruckus coming from the direction of his room. He strode into the doorway, and was met by five Jedi, most of whom did not look very happy.
“Anakin, what happened to the water in the swimming pool!?!?!” Ki-Adi Mundi shouted. He was wearing a bathing suit and a sour expression, neither looked good on him.
“Um...” Anakin said sheepishly.
“Master, not only the bread, but also the toaster was completely VAPORIZED!!!” Ahsoka pouted.
“Um...” Was Anakin's intelligent reply.
“COMPLETLY ANIHILATE THE TRAINING ROOM, THE CLEANING DROID DID!!!” Yoda shouted in rage, jumping up and down. Steam was quite literally coming out his long, pointy ears.
“Um...” Was all Anakin could say.
“Anakin, thank you so much for painting my room, it looks amazing in pink!!!” Kit Fisto shouted, a huge grin on his face.
“Um... You're welcome.” Anakin said, very surprised.
Kit Fisto left, whistling the Bob the Builder theme song. Everyone stared.
“SKYWALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mace Windu roared, breaking the awkward silence.
“Yes?” Anakin replied meekly.
“MY ROOM HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A REGULAR SWIMMING POOL!!!!!!” The angered Jedi shouted.
“I was wrong, I'm really sorry.” Anakin apologized. “I'll fix it. I'll fix everything!”
“Fix everything you will, but more punishment you need. Ideas, does anyone have?” Yoda asked.
“MAKE HIM USE HIS FINGERNAILS TO CLEAN THE BUBBLE GUM OFF THE HANGER FLOORS!!!” Mace Windu yelled.
“Not bad, that idea is. First, drain Mace's room you will! Then fix the training room, fill the pool, and scrub the hanger floors you will, young Skywalker. Though use your fingernails, you will not have to.” Yoda giggled.
“Yes Master Yoda.” Anakin said meekly.
“And another thing.” Mace Windu roared.
“Yes?” Anakin cringed.
“You'd better buy another toaster for Ahsoka.” Was Mace Windu's smug reply.
Anakin facepalmed, and handed Ahsoka enough credits to buy a new toaster.
............................
Anakin stood in Mace Windu's room, wondering where to start, seeing as he was up to his chest in water.
“Master Windu, what should I do first?” He called, wondering if he would be heard. A small plastic bucket flew through the air and hit him in the head as an answer.
“Oh great.” He moaned. The flimsy bucket would have to do. He started to fill it with water and then stopped.
“Wait a minute...” Anakin took a holomap out of his pocket (He was thankful it was waterproof) and looked at the cross section of the building. He was happy to find that Mace Windu's room was situated right over the indoor swimming pool.
“Eureka!” He shouted. Anakin unclipped his lightsaber from his belt, took a deep breath, and dove underwater. After activating his lightsaber, he proceeded to cut a large circular hole in the floor. The water started quickly gushing through the gaping opening and Anakin struggled against the current to find a handhold so as not to get swept away. His hand found it's way to a sturdy lamp in the wall and he held on tightly until all the water was gone. He cautiously crept to the hole and peered over. Some younglings had already started swimming. They were, however, looking curiously at the smaller pieces of furniture that had washed into the pool. Anakin smiled at waved at them. The surprised children awkwardly waved back. Anakin sat up.
“Now, to plug this hole.” He mumbled as he paced the room. He knew a rug would do no good, he could already picture Master Windu stepping in the wrong place and falling into the pool.
Suddenly, a proverbial light bulb lit over his head. He dashed off to his quarters. After digging around under his bed, behind his chair, through his closet, and anywhere else that something could be hidden, he found his welding torch in a cabinet next to a picture of him standing beside Mickey Mouse at Disney World. How embarrassing. He shut the drawer, then made his way to the hanger.
Anakin smiled as the breeze from the opening at the far ending of the building hit his face, and started to walk to the trash pile. After straining for a considerable amount of time to lift his left foot, he realized that it was stuck to the floor by a piece of gum.
“Disgusting!” Anakin moaned. With a large effort he finally made it over to the trash pile. It didn't take long to select a strong square sheet of metal the right size to fit over the hole. Anakin picked it up and lugged it back up to Mace Windu's room, carefully avoiding the gum sticking on the floor.
Once in the Jedi Master's quarters, the welding job didn't take long, and after straightening out the furniture, Anakin decided he'd better move on to his next chore. The training room was a disaster, with all kinds of exercise equipment strewn across the floor. Balancing bars were thrown onto their sides, training lightsabers were scattered all around, and the cleaning droid was busy stripping paint off the walls. After pulling out his lightsaber and destroying the droid, Anakin sighed and got to work.
He started by righting the balancing bars and other training equipment and picking up the lightsabers. After that he stood in front of the wall that was half stripped of paint. He sighed, and walked across the hall to a supply closet. He found a can of paint left over from when Yoda had had the training room remolded. Painting didn't take long at all, and next Anakin logged on to his favorite droid supplier's website and ordered a new cleaning droid to be delivered to Yoda's apartment. Anakin sighed. Now he had to scrub the hanger floors. He knew that he probably had some kind of droid that could help buried in his quarters.
Arriving in the incredibly messy bedroom, he started rummaging through his closet. After having no more success than a bucket of spare droid parts buried under last month's laundry, he lifted up his mattress and found a sleek, flat droid that he had made when he was about fifteen. It was programmed for cleaning floors. The bottom of it had a compartment that held a cleaning solution, and it was equipped with high powered scrubbing tools. Anakin grinned. The droid would make this job a lot easier!
................
Anakin stood in the hanger. The floor was spotless and shining brightly in the setting evening sun. His droid had worked hard, but about halfway through the hanger it ran out of batteries. He had cleaned the rest of the hanger floor the good old fashioned way- with a bucket of water and a scrub brush. He was incredibly sore, but felt good after a hard day's work. He went back to his room and flopped down on the bed. He decided that he needed to watch a cartoon on his iPhone to relax. He pressed the power button. Nothing. Right... The batteries were dead.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He wailed.
Subject: Anakin's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 
Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:53 pm
LOL!!
